Twilight
by lilyflower16
Summary: Fourteen year old Charlotte McLeod's goal in life is to get her parents back together. Divorced for six years, Alex and Claire are barely on speaking terms. The gang at Drover's Run is ever faithful that the pair will get back together eventually...
1. Foundations Are Strong

Part One - Foundations Are Strong

My half sister Marion and I trotted along the Killarney fence line in silence. Once we had checked the fences we had a couple of hours worth of trough cleaning to do. Then we were off to turn out the broodmares, and if it were any usual day, that would conclude our chores.

Of course, living in the country means that there's always something ready to pop up. Tomorrow is our friend Jodi Fountain's wedding, and Marion and I have been running around like crazy organising everything.

Mum has been absolutely run off her feet, and Auntie Tess is almost ready to have her baby, so pardon me for saying, but she's not any use. She's been floating around reminiscing about her own wedding to Uncle Nick, which just makes Mum snap at her loudly and say what a waste of time this whole formality is.

Marion is nearly eleven, and she's never gone to a wedding before, so naturally she's full of beans and bouncing around the place. She's really excited because she gets to be the flower girl – and I get to be a bridesmaid!

It came as a shock to everyone when Jodi announced that she was marrying her long-time boyfriend, Luke Morgan. None of us thought it was that serious, especially Meg.

'Hey, Charlotte.' Marion rode over and poked me. 'Can I ride over to Wilgul and say hi to Dad?'

I hesitated. Mum had specifically said to come straight home, but the look on Marion's face made me stop. Alex is Marion's real father and I like to refer to him as my dad as well. We don't get to see him too often, because he and Mum split up nearly six years back, when I was eight and Marion was only five.

'Okay…but only for five minutes.' I felt guilty putting a timer on Marion's time with Dad, but I couldn't see a way around it. We were already late, and Mum was going to be furious if she knew we'd been at Alex's.

'Dad!' Marion yelled, loud enough to wake the dead.

'Shush!' I hissed at her. She just gave me a look, one I'd seen enough times on both Alex and my mother's faces. She was a true McLeod-Ryan.

'Hey hey! It's my girls!' Alex's face shone as we entered the kitchen. 'How've you been?'

'Good.' I said dryly as Marion threw herself at him. Alex caught her and ruffled her hair affectionately. A pang of jealousy hit my stomach.

'Come here, Charls.' Alex said, offering his other arm. I made my way over and gave him a huge hug.

'How's Tim?' he asked me, referring to my boyfriend, Tim Knowles. I nodded and gave him the latest, and he listened intently.

'And how's your mother?' He continued, trying not to look too interested. I was waiting for that one.

'She's…good. Been very busy. Still the same old Mum though.' I grinned. Alex nodded casually, brightening at the prospect that Mum hadn't run off and eloped.

We chatted for a while, until nearly ten minutes had passed. I prodded my sister off Alex.

'We've gotta go, Alex. But you'll be at the wedding, right?'

'Wouldn't miss it, I am the Best Man after all.' He said proudly. Marion giggled. She started to speak again but I dragged her out.

'Love you, Alex. See you this afternoon.' I added, waving as I closed the door.

'Why can't we stay?' Marion complained, pouting.

'We've got to get back, you know that.' I said sharply. 'Come on, get on.' I said, pointing to her pony. I mounted Phoenix and we cantered back home.

As I'd predicted, we were hardly popular when we clattered into the stable yard.

'Where have you been?' Our mother demanded. 'Tess had been out doing YOUR chores, and she's not up to it. Get inside.'

We mumbled something about one of the Killarney fences being down, and trudged into the house. Inside, the living room was covered in fabric. Marion squealed as she saw her dress, and I went and sat next to Tess, who was stroking Jodi's veil fondly.

'Is the baby awake yet?' I asked her. I was so excited about having a little cousin to play with. I wanted it to be a boy, which no one except Mum agreed with.

'Oh, she's definitely awake.' Tess laughed. She placed my hand on her stomach. I smiled as I felt the little flutter of the child moving around.

I hugged my knees as I waited for Meg to give me my dress. The wedding was going to be so much fun. The rehearsal was this afternoon, and tomorrow was the real thing. I couldn't believe it when Jodi asked me to be one of her bridesmaids – she'd always been close to me while I grew up, but I didn't know she cared so much.

Mum entered the room grumbling again, this time about having to wear a dress. 'I still don't understand why I have to wear this, Jodi.'

'Claire, as much as I really love your work jeans, you are NOT wearing them to my wedding.' Jodi smiled. Mum frowned.

'Alex let me wear them to mine.' She whinged, trying to get the dress over her head. I ran over to help her zip it up. She turned to face the group, a little self-consciously.

'Claire, you look beautiful.' Meg smiled softly at her. Tess and Marion applauded.

'What's all this then?' A familiar voice called out. I recognised it as Alex's, and so did my mum. She froze for a second, and as Alex came down the hall she started tugging at the dress, trying to get it off.

Alex came in. 'Just dropped by to-' He saw my mum and stopped. 'Ah.'

There was an awkward silence. Tess got up and waddled out, calling for Meg and Jodi to help her set up the baby's room, which had suddenly become a very important task. Marion and I looked at each other, unsure of what to do.

Mum had given up on the zipper, and was concentrating on couch intently. 'Wasn't expecting you.' She said stiffly, tracing a pattern on the couch with her finger.

'Nice dress.' Alex commented, eying her. 'If I remember right, last time you wore one of those things was when you were having this one.' He nodded at me and continued to babble. 'That was at…well, it was at…' He trailed off. I giggled.

'At Jodi's last wedding?' Mum gave a hint of a smile. For a moment their eyes met, and I saw it. Oh, they could deny it until they were blue in the face, but I saw it. The spark was still there.

I shook my head. It was so obvious they were still in love with each other. I wondered when they would realise it.


	2. Life Gone Wrong

Part Two – Life Gone Wrong

After lunch, Marion and I went to help Meg set up for the wedding rehearsal. We were holding it outdoors, and because of the drought there was no chance of rain. Tess had made us check the whole homestead for any sign of fire ants, which made Uncle Nick smile. Apparently it was a joke between them.

My mother was rushing around looking flustered – Alex's visit had put her off. I wanted to talk to her, but that was going to have to wait until this whole drama was over.

The funny thing was, my mother was the Maid of Honour, or as she insisted on calling it, the 'Best Woman'. Typical. And Alex was the Best Man. Surely that meant something? Either way they were going to actually have to communicate, which will be somewhat amusing.

Jodi and Luke were off practicing their vows – although I don't think that was the only thing they were practicing, if you ask me. Tess was resting inside, and Uncle Nick was waiting on her hand and foot. They're such a cool couple. Their little kid is going to be so lucky.

Anyway, so Marion and I were setting up the refreshments table when Mum came over.

'Alex tells me you two went for a visit this morning.' She looked me in the eye. 'I didn't realise you two missed him so much.'

'It was her idea.' I said hotly, not even knowing why I was blaming my sister. Marion protested, but Mum held up her hands.

'Enough.' She said tiredly. 'You should have came to me if you wanted to see Alex. I would never stop you from seeing your father.' She sounded if she wanted to say more, but instead she turned to me.

'Charlotte, Peter called for you.' I cringed. There was nothing I wanted more than to simply forget my biological father. But for some reason he had taken to me, even though I had never shown any signs of returning the affection. One hell of a court case later, I was destined to fortnightly visits.

'He wants to know if you can go over later in the week. The girls want to see you, too.' Mum said, referring to my other half sisters, Natalie and Alana. They're not bad. I like them. Both of them are older than me, but they make me feel welcome. Even my step-mother Julia isn't so bad. It's just Peter I can't stand.

'Do I have to?'

'You know you do, Charlotte. Please don't argue.' Mum responded. I knew it was hard on her, too. Two daughters, different fathers, two failed relationships. Of course none of us at Drover's had really given up on Alex and her yet. We liked to think of it as an extensive period of separation.

The wedding rehearsal went well, I think. Jodi kept forgetting her vows, and Marion walked down the aisle too quickly, but apart from that everything went okay. Alex and Mum seemed amicable enough; I think Aunty Tess had something to do with that.

After the rehearsal we went inside for dinner. Jodi and Luke giggled and spent the night whispering to each other. Nick and Tess were arguing over baby names, and Marion and I were racing around helping Meg get the food out on time. Mum and Alex sat at opposite heads of the table, both wearing stony faces. It seemed whatever friendship they'd managed to forge was only for Luke and Jodi's sake.

I often looked back and tried to wonder what went wrong between my parents. I don't know if that's normal, but I don't really care. They're family, and they matter to me.

It all started when I was seven, so I don't really remember the details. It's all a bit fuzzy. Anyway, all I can remember is that Mum was pregnant and she wasn't happy about it. Don't know why. Maybe with Marion and I she'd just had enough. Alex was over the moon, though.

Then one day she was out in the yard, trying to ride and do too much work as usual, and she had an accident. She lost the baby. Alex was so devastated, and it nearly killed him. Mum was disappointed, naturally, but I think she was sort of relieved as well. Then Alex got so angry and started accusing her of not caring, and if that's the way she felt then maybe they shouldn't be together.

I never did understand that. Alex of all people should have realised how Mum deals with things when she's upset. Shuts everyone out. Won't listen. A bit like him, really. I guess with the two of them so worked up, it was always going to happen. One day we woke up and Mum informed us that Alex would be living at Wilgul from now on. That's all it was. A stupid fight, and they're both too bloody proud to admit they were wrong.

'Charlotte?' My mother's voice said softly into my ear. 'Are you okay?' My thoughts were interrupted as she spoke to me.

'I'm fine.' I tried to smile at her. 'Are you still going into Gungallen tomorrow?'

'Yes, I figure the later we leave it to pick up the cake the better.'

'Can I come?' Mum looked surprised.

'Of course, if you want to. I can drop you at Tim's on the way if you like…is that what this is about?'

'No, not really. Just thought it might be nice for us to have a chat. Like we used to.' I smiled at her. She really was a good mother, even though she was strict and all.

'Claire?' Aunty Tess said. 'Claire, can you go and help Alex bring in the glasses? I would, but, you know.' She gestured to her large stomach apologetically and gave my mother an innocent look. I bit back a laugh. Seems like I wasn't the only one who wanted our family back together.


	3. The Wedding

Part Three – The Wedding

It was finally the wedding day. Jodi was up at the crack of dawn rushing around with a hair straightener and threatening my mother not to come anywhere near her. Meg was unusually quiet, and until Terry arrived she barely said two words to anyone.

Aunty Tess was off in fantasy land again, and Nick was teasing her. It seemed my mother was the only one at a loss for something to do. That is, until Alex arrived. Then she made herself extremely busy with the cutlery.

Marion and I greeted Alex enthusiastically, and I noticed Mum coming in and out of the room frequently for no particular purpose, other than to pretend she wasn't spying on Alex.

Alex helped Marion with her dress and then got out the Polaroid and took a few snaps of the two of us. Mum was still hovering in the background, and Uncle Nick was daring enough to remark

'Oh look, the Best Man and the Best Woman.' He smirked at Alex, who was shaking his head at him, telling him to stop. Tess laughed, but she was the only one. She's the only one that ever laughs at Uncle Nick's jokes. Anyway, the rest of the room was in an awkward silence.

'Not funny mate.' Alex said under his breath. Mum was glaring at him too. Seemed like World War III was on the brink of eruption. I was getting out of there. Besides, the wedding was about to start.

Tess managed to calm my mother down enough to put on her dress and a touch of make-up. Marion and I thought she looked stunning, but she brushed our compliments off. The four of us trooped outside to collect Jodi, who was getting ready with Meg.

The music started, and I could see the boys were waiting at the alter. Jodi looked radiantly at her husband to be.

Marion was first to go, carelessly tossing petals about the place. Alex was beaming at her from the alter, but his face changed as soon as Mum started to move.

My mother led the bridal party down the aisle, smiling at the guests and oblivious to the fact that Alex was staring at her as if he'd just laid eyes on her for the first time. Obviously the heels and makeup made an impression.

Tess had trouble walking down the aisle, and Nick was always close by just in case anything happened. She too was glowing.

And then it was my turn. I kissed Jodi on the cheek and wished her luck, and set out down the aisle. It was so much fun! It made me feel so grown-up.

The wedding was beautiful, and I couldn't help but notice Alex making eyes at Mum throughout the ceremony. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction though, just stared straight ahead at Jodi and Luke.

I had to bite back a laugh when we walked back down the aisle, following the happy new couple. Tess and Nick linked arms, leading the way, and I joined with one of the workers from the truck stop. Mum had no choice but to be led away by Alex and put on a forced smile for the guests.

'Claire, I need to go into town to get some more ice and the food for tonight. Do you mind if I borrow the Ute? Ours is on the blink.' Alex asked.

'Oh…' Mum hesitated. 'Well, I need to pick up the cake at Shirley Steven's house later on. I can get it for you if you like.'

'No, that won't work. I'll have to come with you then.' Alex said. Mum just looked at him.

'Whatever. I don't see the problem, but if you're set on coming, I can't do much about it, can I?' She turned to me.

'Charlotte, are you coming too?' Mum said, almost desperately, as if being alone in the same space as Alex Ryan would be worst than death itself.

'No thanks.' I smiled sweetly. 'I'm having fun here.' The look on her face could have killed me, and I guessed I'd cop it later. Aunty Tess was giving me an approving thumbs up from across the room.

'See you later, Bom.' Alex winked at me. I winked back.

Not long after they left, the dancing started. My boyfriend Tim had come down from town for the night, so we occupied ourselves for the remainder of the evening. Nick and Marion were twirling around the dance floor trying to do Jive, but even their amusing performances couldn't beat the extremely contented looks on the faces of the bride and the groom. Jodi and Luke were clearly having the time of their lives.

'So, come on, Mum. What happened?' I asked my mother the following morning.

'I've told you already, Charlotte, nothing.'

'You didn't even talk?' I said, crestfallen. 'Come on, tell me. You always used to talk to me.' I gave her The Look.

'Well…' she hesitated. 'We did talk. Alex wants us to be friends again. I suppose I see his point, it's hardly feasible for us to go on hating each other. It's no good for the properties.' She added hastily, to justify herself. A slow grin spread across my face and I poked her.

'You want to be more than friends again, don't you?'

'No, no.' She stopped me. 'No, I just think it's better for you and Marion. It's hardly a nice place for you two to grow up, with both of your parents hating each other.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Oh, come on, Mum. You still love him and you know it. I know it. Come on, if your fourteen year old daughter can sense something then it's pretty obvious, right?'

'Stop it, Charlotte.' She said sharply. 'No, I mean it. I don't want to talk about it anymore.'

Well, if she wasn't ready to admit it yet, fine.

But being 'friends' was a start. It was bloody well better than nothing.


	4. Welcome to our world

Part Four – Welcome to our world

Tess and I were in town. I had a cold and Mum insisted I go to the doctor's for it. Really I think she just wanted Tess and I out of the way. Both of us had been badgering her about Alex, and she was clearly getting sick of it.

'How long til the baby's due, Tess?' I asked her.

'Minus two weeks.' She gritted her teeth as she struggled her way along the street. I took her arm and helped her along, and she smiled gratefully at me.

'You know, I remember when it was your mum going through this. She went completely hormonal and we all thought she was crazy. Now I know what she meant.' Tess groaned and tried to keep walking.

'You okay?'

She whimpered, and I started to get scared. 'Tess, you can't have the baby now, if that's what you're thinking. No way! Oh please don't…'

'Too late.' Tess hissed. 'It's coming, it's coming. She's trying to crawl out, RIGHT NOW!' She screamed and I'm guessing that was when the first contraction hit her.

'Oh my god…okay, I'll go and get help.'

'NO! No, no, stay here, please!' Tess managed to hobble over to the car, and threw the keys at me. I stared at them in horror.

'Tess…I don't have my licence. I've never driven a car before.'

'Please Charlotte.' Tess's face was twisted with pain. I shrugged, open the door, got in, and tried to work out which one was the accelerator.

As we jerked up the street to the hospital, Tess started hurling insults at Nick down the phone. I tell you, that woman could win a major award for yelling. It was insane.

I got her out of the car and into the hospital, and because I was the only one with her I was allowed to accompany her to the waiting room. Tess was gripping my hand so tightly I wasn't sure which one of us was in more pain.

'Uh…is Nick coming?' I asked her, trying to take my mind off it.

'He's stuck in traffic in the city.' She hissed dangerously. 'When I get my hands on him I'm going to…oh!' Tess groaned and I thought I might just pass out at the sight of her.

'Nurse, Nurse, can you please check her again, I know you said it wouldn't happen for a few hours but she's in so much pain!'

The Nurse looked at Tess and smiled. 'You can have your epidural now.'

'Yes! Now! Go get it! Run!' Tess screamed at the poor nurse. I choked back a smile, and Tess glared at me.

'Charlotte! Stop it! Is this funny to you? Does this look funny?' Tess shouted, waving her arms at me. Yes, Aunty Tess, it truly does. But I'm not going to say that because I'm quite fond of my hand.

'Arghhhh…' Tess yelled. All of the other expecting mothers were crowding together in a wide eyed fright, obviously dreading what was to come.

'Charlotte! Tess!' Mum and Alex ran into the delivery room. I looked up in surprise. Even Tess stopped screaming for a second to do a double take at the sight of both of them together.

'Tess!' Nick rushed into the room and straight to his wife's side. 'Oh, honey, I'm so sorry!' He wiped her forehead.

'You!' Tess pointed a finger at him accusingly. 'This…is all YOUR fault!' As another contraction rolled though her, she grabbed his hand and started crying and apologizing at the same time. It was then that Alex, Mum and I tactfully snuck out of the room.

'So, I'm going to get some coffee. Anyone want some?' I asked. Mum shook her head, and Alex gave me a couple of coins. I went over to the cafeteria and made my purchase, and I could hear my parents talking together so I took a detour by the delivery room to see how Tess was doing.

I was shocked to see a little bundle settled firmly in the couple's arms. 'Oh,' was all I could say.

'Charlotte, come and say hello to your cousin.' Tess said proudly, moving the blanket so I could see the child's face.

'It's a girl.' Nick said softly. 'A little girl, Tess.' He beamed at her, and carefully took the bundle in his arms.

'What's her name?' I asked quietly.

'Her name is Bianca. Bianca Isabel Ryan.' By this stage Mum and Alex had found us, and were cooing over the little girl. Gently I took her for a hold and we walked around the delivery room. I told her all about the fun we'd have when we were older, just like I did when Marion was born.

'Look, Claire.' I heard Alex say. 'She looks just like Marion. Do you remember?'

'What sort of question is that?' Mum laughed. 'Of course I remember. I'd been in labour for nearly a whole day, I did actually stop once or twice to admire my handiwork.'

'Our handiwork.' Alex said. Mum snorted. 'I believe I did most of the work.' Alex looked at her, a sad little smile on his face.

'Can't we even get along for a minute? Our younger siblings have just had their first child, and we're arguing in the middle of the delivery room.' He said. Mum caught herself.

'Yeah, sorry.' She looked embarrassed. She opened her mouth to say something, but changed her mind at the last minute. I wondered what she had been going to say.

'Truce?' Alex offered a hand. He always was the more forgiving one of the pair.

'Okay.' Mum swallowed and even managed a small smile back.


	5. A bit of that country hospitality

Part Five: A bit of that country hospitality

Marion was clattering around with the plates downstairs. We were having dinner with the Ryans, Liz and Harry, to celebrate Bianca's birth. Alex was coming too. Meg was in the kitchen, cooking up a storm. Mum and I were sitting in her room, talking.

'But why can't you just kiss and make up?' I groaned, flopping on the bed in mock defeat.

'It's not that easy, Charlotte.' Mum insisted. 'One day, when you're older…' She continued clipping her nails

'Oh, don't give me the 'you're too young!' speech.' I begged. 'Spare me! I don't want to die!' I said dramatically.

'You're too young to die!' Mum said in the same tone. We dissolved onto the bed in giggles.

'Seriously, though…' I started, eventually sitting up. Mum gave me a warning look.

'Don't you start. I've already got Tess in one ear.'

'One day you'll thank us.' I promised. She rolled her eyes.

'Pardon me.' Alex knocked at the door.

'What are you doing here?' Mum greeted him.

'Just thought I might say hello. Nah, I'm trying to get out of helping Marion set the table. Little bugger, she wanted me to pour the drinks.'

'We couldn't have that. That would be terrible.' Mum teased him.

'Well, yeah! That's what I said, too.' He mocked, grinning. 'Geez. When will they learn, Claire?'

'Well you never did used to do any of the work around here.' Mum pointed out, completely ruining the moment. I pinched her in annoyance.

'Ow! Charlotte! What on earth was that for?' She looked slightly bewildered.

'Alright, you. Time to get out.' With a groan Alex picked me up and carried me out of the room, then went back in and shut the door firmly.

'She's beautiful, Tess.' Liz Ryan gushed. 'Look Harry, isn't she a sight?' Harry grunted his approval. I watched as Alex came down the stairs. Mum was just behind him. We all stared at them, waiting as they joined us.

'Thankyou, Liz.' Tess broke the silence, grinned politely at her mother-in-law. Nick's arm was protectively placed around her shoulders. Liz smiled at her, then at Nick. Then she turned amicably to the rest of the group, and started chatting away.

'It's so nice to know at least one of my boys is making a go of his marriage. Oh, hello there Alex, will you pass the potatoes?'

Alex raised his eyebrows at his mother. Mum nearly choked into her napkin. I grinned broadly, and Liz winked at me.

'Now, Alex, do tell me, what plans have you for the future? It seems so long since we've caught up.' Liz said innocently.

'Excuse me.' Alex's chair scraped against the wooden floor. Mum got up quickly and followed him into the kitchen. The dining room was silent.

A few minutes later they came back, looking a little more relaxed. I wondered what that was all about. Seemed like we weren't the only ones with a mission.

'Marion, why don't you tell your Grandma about your new horse?' Mum said pointedly. Marion looked a little startled, but obligingly she started talking. I pretended to be listening, but really I was taking the time to ponder this sudden change. Had I missed it? Had something major happened that Mum hadn't told me?

I caught Mum and Alex staring across the table at each other. Their eyes were talking silently. Every so often Mum would shake her head a little, or Alex would smile. They were communicating, but they weren't even speaking! It was beyond me. Suddenly they both cracked up.

'Pardon me.' Mum said, tears of laughter running down her cheeks. I hadn't seen her so happy in days. Alex was chuckling too. Apparently it was a silent joke between them. I shook my head. I would never, ever understand those two.


	6. Getting the posthole digger

Part Six: Getting the post-hole digger

'You and Alex were very chummy last night.' Tess commented the following morning. 'Anything you want to tell me about? Like maybe some thoughts of getting back together again?'

Oh sure, Mum protested, but she wasn't going to any great lengths. Trying to cover up, she argued:

'I'm not a fan of going back into a failed relationship. Whatever problems were there before will still be there now.'

'Oh, rubbish, Claire. You don't believe that.'

'Yes I do!'

'Then where did Charlotte come from?'

Mum looked shocked. Clearly no-one had ever said that to her before, at least not to her face. She looked like she wanted to hit Tess, but I stepped in.

'Tess is right, Mum. You should go for it.' With both of us grinning our most persuasive cheesy grins, she couldn't help but laugh.

'You two.' She said fondly. 'You're too much like each other. I suppose I'm part of an elaborate scheme you've plotted in your spare time, am I right?'

'Spare time?' I hooted. 'Yeah, right.'

'I'm off to Wilgul!' Mum hollered, grabbing the keys to the old Merc. Tess and I looked at each other in astonishment. Was it possible?

'Just to grab the post-hole digger!' She added, giving herself an alibi. I smirked. Sure. Post digger, yeah right. Our perfectly healthy hole digger was sitting in the shed, gleaming after the cleaning I'd given it that very morning.

'Can I come?' Marion called out excitedly at the prospect of seeing her father. Tess looked up in alarm and I pinched my sister and gave her a good hard kick under the table in case there was any doubt of the message I was trying to get across.

'Never mind!' Marion said, giving me a pout-y look. 'Char-lotte!' she wailed when Mum had driven off. Her arms were folded across her chest crossly. She slammed her plate onto the table and her chair squeaked as she moved it back. I could hear her thundering up the stairs a moment later.

'Guess I'm making myself popular today.' I laughed. Tess smiled from where she was feeding Bianca.

'Well, I know someone who's glad to see you.' She handed the newborn across the kitchen. I took her in my arms happily, and settled back in my chair to coo at her.

Tess and I waited impatiently into the early hours of the afternoon. Three games of poker and a bottle of coke later, we were still waiting. For my mother. She had been at Wigul a very long time for someone who was just 'borrowing a piece of equipment'. Like, as in, the whole day. I was starting to smell a rat.

Finally a familiar boot kicked at the screen door, which flew off its hinges angrily. 'Oops!' Mum giggled and gave it a good thump, trying to push it back into place. It pushed back. Whack, push; whack, push. Shrug.

Tess and I watched as she faced us, her appearance dishevelled. Tess opened her eyes wide, noting the tussled hair, the lost buttons and the guilty look. I shuddered. I didn't want to know how that had happened!

'Did you get the post-hole digger? Charlotte and I have been waiting all day.' Tess commented sweetly. Mum just looked at her blankly.

'What?' Then it hit her. 'OH! Uh, no, I thought we'd be better off trying to fix ours.'

'Which, might I add, is perfectly fine.' I pointed out.

'Uh, right. Yep. Well, I'm off to have a shower. The uh, ute broke down and I had to fix it.' She nodded to herself, proud of her little story.

'Okay…' Tess said. 'Am I imagining things or did you drive off in the Merc this morning?'

Mum froze. 'Well, yes, it wasn't MY ute…obviously.' She laughed, blushing.

'Right.' Tess said dryly. Mum squirmed and tried to get out of the room.

'Oh, one other thing. You wouldn't happen to know where Alex is, would you? His phone has been engaged all day; I guess he must have it off the hook. I can't imagine why.' Tess looked carefully at my mother.

The look on her face said it all.

Busted.


	7. Playing happy families

Part Seven: Playing happy families

Of course, just when things were starting to get good, I was shipped of the Peter's for the weekend. Pooey. I made Aunty Tess promise to document every single thing that was said, and grudgingly I let Meg drive me into town.

I whined and winged the whole way there. Why couldn't I be Alex's daughter? Could solve a few problems in one hit. As much as I hated these fortnightly visits, the girls did their best to make me feel welcome. Julia and I get along quite well, considering. She has never once blamed me, or spoken down to me.

'So, Charlotte, what's the latest?' Natalie said, grabbing a banana and peeling it. She was seventeen, and nearly finished school.

'I've been working on getting Mum and Alex back together.' I said proudly. She smiled at me, but Peter gave me a funny look.

It's funny how I call him Peter. He is my biological father, but I have never once thought of calling him 'Dad'. The word had rolled off my tongue regularly when Alex was my stepfather.

'I see. That would be right, our little Charlotte bringing the together the worlds' two most stubborn soul mates.' Natalie knew the story of my mother and Alex well. She'd often been there for me when they were going through the divorce, and I really respected how she didn't censor what she said just because her dad was in the room, or just because it wasn't a normal situation.

Alana snorted. She'd always been on Peter's side, talking about Alex like he was the scum of the earth, and resenting me for where I came from. It was sad how tragedy had divided this family. I guess I had too, in a way.

Natalie played with my hair, braiding it into two neat plaits and tying ribbons around it for me. We often did silly girly things, which was kind of nice for a change, seeing that Marion would never be caught up in such a fuss.

Natalie and Alana don't seem like my sisters, though. Natalie is like a friend, and Alana is just an acquaintance. Marion, to me, is my real flesh and blood. Sure, we fight, we claw, we shout, but it's those things that make us real. The quiet Johnson house, to me, doesn't feel real.

The weekend passed slowly, and when the Drover's Ute drove up the drive at early on Sunday morning, I'd been waiting on the porch for nearly half an hour. Jodi was in the front; she had obviously just gotten back from her honeymoon.

'Charlotte!' She squealed, hugging me. We laughed and talked furiously for a couple of minutes, and then I dashed inside to say goodbye to Natalie. We hopped in the car and set off.

'How was Queensland?' I said. 'Come on, all the juicy details, please. Don't leave anything out.'

'It was great!' She giggled. 'Luke and I had the most amazing time!' She proceeded to describe it.

'And I hear you've been a busy little bee.' She wiggled her eyebrows mischievously. I just smiled.

'So, need I ask where Mum is? Or is that just plain obvious?'

'She's been trying to keep it quiet, but she doesn't realise that the floorboards squeak. You should have been there this morning, Char; it was so funny! Tess came down and informed her rather loudly that she should be aware that the mattress squeaks too.'

'Ewwww!' I chorused, shuddering at the thought of my mother and Alex…well, never mind.

'Yeah.' Jodi agreed. 'If you want to move up to the Shearer's quarters with me, I totally understand.'

'Nice offer, but what about Luke?' I pointed out. Jodi blushed, obviously forgetting about her husband.

'Wow, I can't get used to it, Charlotte.' She commented, pulling the car into the drive. 'I'm married, can you believe it?!'

'Took you long enough!' I laughed. She whacked me over the head and the car spun a little. I got out and raced up the drive, wanting to say hello to Alex and Mum.

'Hey Aunty Tess!' I ran over and gave her a kiss on the cheek and stroked Bianca's forehead. 'Is Mum around?'

'She's still in bed.' Tess's face was amused.

'Oh.' I stopped. 'Uh, I see. Well, I'm just going up to dump my stuff.'

I could hear laughter from Mum's room even before I started climbing the stairs. I half shielded my eyes, not wanting to accidentally see something that might scar me for life. I made a dash for my room.

After I'd put my stuff away, I decided I was being silly and knocked on the door quietly.

'It's just me.' I said. 'Can I come in?'

I heard a quick swear word and the flustered rearranging of blankets. 'Sure!' Mum's voice was bright.

'Alright, slackers, up and at 'em!' I shouted, running and jumping on the bed. There was a muffled 'ouch' from Alex who was hiding under the covers. He peeked out at me and gave me a dirty look.

'Come on, it's nearly lunchtime! What are you still doing in bed? Actually, no, don't answer that.' I kept talking. 'Are we still going into town tonight, Mum?' On Sunday my mother usually took Marion and I into town for dinner. It was just a quirky tradition of ours, and one I didn't particularly want to break.

'Actually…' Mum hesitated. 'Aunty Tess is going to take you. I'm going over to Wilgul for the night.'

'Oh.' I stopped. Alex was grinning at her again, and I was starting to get the feeling they wanted me to leave. I sighed, gave Mum a quick hug and left. As soon as I closed the door I heard them both start laughing again.

I went downstairs, at a loss for something to do. Marion and Tess were in the study and Tess was explaining to Marion how to look after the baby. Being a mother really suited Tess, it obviously came very naturally to her.

'Sorry to interrupt, Tess, but is there anything I can do?'

'Well, we still have all of the regular chores to do, although you wouldn't think it by the way some people are lounging around upstairs.' Tess rolled her eyes. 'I'm about to take Marion over to the neighbour's house for the afternoon, so if you like you could bring up a couple of horses and you and Meg can bring up the mob from the south paddock. They're due for drenching and we might as well get it done while we've got an extra pair of hands here.' I nodded, and wandered off.

As I tacked up the horses and waited for Meg, Alex and Mum finally emerged from the house, looking very pleased with themselves. I waved happily, and went over to say hello.

'Are you two coming with us?' I asked hopefully. Of course it was really only a two-person job.

'You and Meg can manage, can't you?' Mum said. Alex tickled her from behind and she smacked his hand away. 'Get out of it, you!' She said, swatting him as he tried again. She laughed.

'Sorry Charlotte, your mum's all mine today.' Alex grinned, looking at her. Mum smiled back and they ended up kissing.

'Oh gross guys, not in front of the kids!' I said, jumping away. Both of them were too absorbed in the other to notice.

'Alright, well see you later then.' I called, as they started moving back to the house, their eyes never leaving the other.

'Maybe.' Mum muttered. Alex nodded. 'Before the end of the week, definitely.' They left. I shrugged, and went back to Phoenix.

Later Meg and I rode down to the south paddock, which was in the corner of Killarney, Wilgul and Drover's. Meg was telling me a story about when she was little, as she often did, but I wasn't really listening.

'Hey, Meg.' I started.

'Hmm?' She said, distracted at the sight of Terry coming down the hill opposite us.

'Did you ever wish-'

'Excuse me Charlotte, I'm just going to say hello to Terry. Do you want to start getting the mob going?'

'Uh, sure.' I said, disappointed. I whistled to old Roy, who gave me a hand.

Terry ended up coming back with us, and he rode with Meg the whole way. Neither of them were much use. It was late afternoon when we arrived back at the yards.

Alex and Mum had just been out to pick up Marion, and both of them were laughing at something she'd done. Soon they were sitting in a group hug, the three of them. They looked up and saw me, and said hello.

'Hey Charls, how was Peter's?' Marion asked. I shrugged. 'Charlotte, will you go inside and help Meg with the dinner? We'll be up soon.' Mum promised. I rolled my eyes, and stomped back up to the house. As I got to the door, I turned and looked back at them. Mum, Marion and Alex, sitting in their happy little circle, laughing together. Meg and Terry shooting glances at each other from the porch. Tess and Nick, proudly looking after Bianca.

And for the first time since I'd been at Drovers, I found myself feeling a little lonely.


	8. Goodbye, Drovers

Part Eight: Goodbye, Drovers

I slammed the screen door in annoyance. Bloody Marion, she'd taken of on Phoenix without asking AGAIN. I was so pissed off at her. Phoenix was my horse, my special horse. Mum had given her to me when I was ten. We were the best of mates.

Of course, when I told Mum she wasn't concerned. According to her, Marion was a good horsewoman and could be trusted with Phoenix. But that wasn't the point, she always takes my stuff without asking, and Phoenix was so dear to me…Mum should understand, she'd be the same if someone touched her precious Blaze. She was too involved with Alex to notice. I swear, if anything happened to my horse…

So there I was, slaving away cleaning the yards, while Marion was taking my horse for a joy ride, and Mum was lazing around with Alex. I felt like I was the only one doing any real work around the place. Tess and Nick had gone home with Bianca, and Meg was in town for the day getting supplies.

I gritted my teeth as lunch came, and I found myself again alone in the kitchen. After waiting for a while I made myself a sandwich and carried it out to the sheds. I needed to move the mob back to the south paddock, but I couldn't do it without a horse. Sighing, I resorted to taking Eagle.

I grabbed a halter and went to catch him. Mum and Alex were messing around in the hayshed, and my stomach felt queasy as I passed them. Geez, I know I wanted my parents back together, but did they have to be together all the time? And all over the place? What was it Tess always said? Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true.

'Charlotte?' Mum tore herself away from Alex just long enough to notice me. 'What are you doing?'

'Moving the mob.' I said shortly. 'Is there a problem?'

'Excuse me young lady, don't talk to me like that.' Mum frowned. 'Yes, there is a problem. I don't want you riding Eagle.' It was my turn to frown. A pang jolted through my stomach.

'Why not?' I said in a small voice. 'Don't you trust me?'

She seemed at a loss for words, and looked at Alex for help. He shrugged and made a face, and she sighed.

'Look, just wait until Marion comes back and take Phoenix.' She said softly.

'She's been out ALL day on MY horse!' I shouted. 'And YOU've been out here ALL day doing absolutely NOTHING! What am I supposed to do, sit here and twiddle my thumbs? Gee, great, thanks Mum, glad I'm quitting school for this.' I whirled on my heel, and stomped up to my room. Mum protested behind me, but Alex stopped her from coming. I was furious with both of them.

When Marion arrived home that night, I gave her a piece of my mind. Phoenix was in one piece, barely. Sweat was dripping off her, she was tired, and I wouldn't be surprised if she came up lame. I screamed, I cried, I shouted, I bawled, and the worst thing was, I didn't even know exactly what I was upset about.

I was steaming at Marion, sure, but it if I was honest with myself, it wasn't just her I was annoyed at. For some reason my parents were getting up my back too. I should have been over the moon for them; things had turned out fantastically. Instead, as much as I hated to admit it: I was jealous.

Not of them exactly, but of what they had. Like, the other night for example. Alex was goofing around and trying to open the beetroot at the same time, and he ended up slipping and slicing his hand open.

Needless to say, Mum was so worried she nearly had a brain haemorrhage. The look in her eyes…it said it all. She wouldn't be calmed until Alex had stitches. She was so worried that she was nearly out of control, and even though Alex was in pain his first priority was to reassure Mum.

I think it was then I really understood it. Sure, I knew they cared, I knew they were 'in love' so to speak, but I didn't realise how special what they had was until then. How deep, and how rare. Tess and Nick, I don't know if even they have something that special.

And here I go again, sounding like a marriage counsellor. Hey, if I decide not to work here, maybe that's a future career path. Except for the fact that I'm the one who probably needs counselling after the latest blow-up. Well, bugger that.

And so, I decided to go downstairs. I knew I couldn't stay mad at them for something they couldn't help. Marion was another story, though. It would take me quite a while to forgive her.

As I climbed down the stairs I expected to see them at the table, waiting for me. I guess I was giving myself too much credit. They had again returned to their latest hobby, and I won't gross you out with the details, but it sure wasn't pretty. I stopped in the doorway.

'Alex, I really should go and check on Charlotte.' Mum broke away and gave a laugh.

'Claire, she'll be fine, just give her some time to cool off.' Alex seemed unconcerned. My stomach jerked.

'No, Alex, I think she has a point. We haven't exactly been helping around today.' Mum arched an eyebrow at him.

'Stop worrying, Claire! Honestly, Charlotte will get over it.'

'Maybe you're right.' Mum bit her lip.

'Really, she's just finding something to sulk about. You know what kids are like.' Alex continued. I frowned. Was it just me, or did he sound like he didn't care at all? But the worst part was to come.

'You know what?' Mum said, kissing him with a smile. 'I think you're right. Like you said, she'll get over it.'

I felt like I'd just been slapped in the face. Did my own mother really care that little that she couldn't even spare me two minutes of the day? I could have slit my wrists up there for all she knew. Or cared.

I turned in the doorway, silently shaking. That was it, I'd had enough. I was leaving.


	9. The runaway

Part Nine: The runaway

The bus ride to town was uneventful. There were about ten of others on the bus; all of them much older than me and travelling in small groups, so I didn't really speak to anyone. I listened to my Walkman mostly. I refused to think of what I'd just done.

I got off the bus just outside Gungellan, and walked the rest of the way. My heart was beating furiously as I walked up the drive. The lights were on in the house, and I breathed out. At least there was someone home.

I knocked on the door and waited. My hands were perspiring. The door opened.

'Charlotte.' My father's voice sounded both surprised and pleased. 'We weren't expecting you this weekend, is there something wrong, sweetheart?' Tears welled up in my eyes, and he looked surprised as I gave him a hug. He didn't say anything, just stroked my hair awkwardly and waited.

I managed to pull myself together after a couple of minutes, and by then the whole family had crowded around, worried looks on their faces. I sniffled.

'It's not your mother, is it?' Peter said, sounding worried. Julia twitched a little.

'No.' I replied. 'No. Look, I'm sorry, it was wrong of me to come without asking. I'll be fine; don't worry. I'll get a room in the pub and I'll go home in the morning.' I turned, but Peter caught my arm.

'Are you kidding? You're not going anywhere near the pub. Something might happen, no way. Come inside.' We shuffled inside, and Natalie ran to the kitchen for some tissues. She handed one to me, and dried my eyes with the other.

'There.' She said proudly. 'Now, fess up, Char. What's wrong?' All four of them looked at me expectantly. The silence was nerve wrecking.

'Oh, it's probably just me being silly.' I said miserably. 'But I just needed some time to think…and I was wondering…could I stay for a few days?' I looked at my father pleadingly.

'Of course,' he said softly, 'you're always welcome here, Charlotte, you know that.' He smiled at me and gave my arm a squeeze. Natalie came with me to my room and tucked me into bed.

I tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. Around eleven I heard the phone ring, and Peter answered it on the speaker. I could hear my mother's voice speaking frantically down the line. Peter yelled at her for a while, telling her how upset I was, and how he was going to get the magistrate to review the custody case. Mum was pretty distraught by the sound of it, and I could hear Alex shouting abuse from the other side of the room.

I peeked around my bedroom door to get a better view, and I felt so guilty at what I saw. My father was still talking to Mum, if you could call it that, but Julia was in the room as well, silently crying. It must be so hard on her. You could tell Peter had never really gotten over the thing with Mum. He didn't stop to look at Julia, he was now intent on giving Alex a piece of his mind.

I covered my ears with my hands, just wanting to get away from it all. It crossed my mind that this was all my fault. Look what I'd done to this family; look at the state these people were in. So many tears; so much heartbreak. All because of me.

I went back to bed, not knowing what to do. I got up and paced for a while, but it didn't help much.

Finally, around three in the morning, I packed my things for the second time in the last twenty hours. I slid silently out the front door and into the garage. I jumped on my bicycle, and luckily the tires were still pumped.

I did feel a little guilty just leaving, after Peter had been so welcoming in letting me stay. But I had to face it – I didn't belong there. I didn't belong anywhere.


	10. And life just keeps getting better

Part Ten: And life just keeps getting better

I pedalled furiously up the street, panting a little. It was the early hours of the morning, and just starting to get light. I'd been riding for a couple of hours now, but it felt like I hadn't gotten anywhere. I was still in the outskirts of Gungellan. There was no way I could ride all the way home, it would take me days. But I was okay with that, because I wasn't sure if I wanted to go home.

I wasn't really sure exactly what I was going to do. All I knew was that I had to get away from it all for a while, before I did something more stupid than what I was doing now. I felt like such a failure. Maybe I could go up North, and try and find some work on a cattle station somewhere. I perked up at the thought, trying to convince myself that there would be plenty of people willing to employ a fourteen year old without asking many questions.

About a half hour later I was surprised to see a car coming along the road. I was going downhill now, and as I recognised the Drover's Ute I found it hard to stop. I swore under my breath and instantly regretted jamming on the breaks when the wheels locked a moment later.

I skidded off the side of the road, just as the Ute came into view again. I ducked, and was so preoccupied with staying out of sight that I didn't see the pothole. My front tire slammed into it. I heard the suspension snap.

'Shit!' I swore again, and yelped as the bike bounced off the road and slipped its way across the grass. 'Stop, stop!' I yelled at it, squeezing my brakes again, but they were useless. I screamed as I saw the cliff and tried to bail out, but my bag was caught and I only just managed to jump off before it went hurtling over the edge.

For a moment I lay facedown in the dirt, breathing. As soon as I tried to move pain shot up my leg, and I gripped it, spluttering. A moment later I got the shakes. I was so close to the edge of the cliff face that I was getting dizzy. I've always been funny about heights; Mum says I get it from Tess.

I squirmed, and tried to get up.

'One, two, three.' I counted, and quickly pushed myself upwards. And what a bad idea it was. My leg gave way and I found myself clawing at the earth trying desperately not to slide down the side off the cliff. I'd slipped, but it was okay: I'd just managed to save myself.

I wished now that whoever was in the Ute had seen me. My leg hurt so bad and I wanted to cry, but I forced myself to be strong. Again I attempted to get back up to the top of the hill, but I could hardly move and I only succeeded in causing a minor landslide, and scaring myself even more.

For what seemed like hours I gripped stubbornly to the cliff-face, determined not to fall. There was no way I was going off the side of this cliff. If I had to wait here until the next Ice Age, damn it, someone would come for me.

About lunchtime I heard a chopper go over. Two guesses who it was. As much as I hated to admit it, I'd never been gladder to see him. Alex. Mum was beside him, pointing frantically. I wanted to wave, but they'd seen me, and like hell I was letting go of this cliff without a good reason.

It took them a minute to land and Alex stopped to get some rope. Mum ran over. Her face was tear streaked, and she looked absolutely awful. She had the most terrified expression on her face. I realised with a start that this was the same place she'd had the accident with Tess, when I was only a baby. Apparently she'd almost not made it.

'Don't you ever, ever do this to me again.' She spluttered, between sobs. 'Charlotte I was so scared. Oh god you have no idea.' She kept shaking her head, looking at me in disbelief.

Alex moved her out of the way, and eased himself over the edge with the rope.

'Careful!' Mum said sharply. 'Careful, don't hurt her.'

'Claire, I'm doing my best, alright?' Alex shot her an annoyed look. He gently attached me to the rope. Trembling, I took one palm off the cliff and grabbed his hand. I moved my good foot off the little ledge I'd been standing on, and tried to climb up.

'Easy.' Alex said. 'Slow as you like, Charlotte.' I nodded grimly. Step by step I made my way up. I was nearly there. Alex reached for my other hand, but I slipped. Mum screamed, and Alex just managed to grab me under my arms. Gosh, now I know what it feels like to be paralysed with fear.

'Oh god.' Mum's hands were shaking as she rushed over, forgetting she was meant to be keeping an eye on the rope. She grabbed at me. 'No, don't do this. You can't do this to me.' Her voice cracked. Her face was white as she clawed at my shirt.

I couldn't move. My head was thrown forward and dimly I noticed how high up I was. I looked slowly from the ground to my mother and Alex, who were doing their best to haul me up. Promptly, I blacked out.


	11. The harsh reality

Part Eleven: The harsh reality

The first thing I noticed as I awoke was the dull beep of a heart monitor. The second thing was my leg, or what was left of it. I groaned as I tried to sit up, and instantly a nurse bustled in and started plugging and unplugging things. I looked at her hazily.

'Is this all for me?' I said, partially in awe. I motioned to the cluster of machines with their incessant beeping.

'Afraid so.' She smiled pityingly at me. I could see Mum standing outside, arguing with the doctor, who was barricading the door. Tess and Alex were holding her back, but as soon as she saw me trying to sit up she became more insistent. I honestly thought she was going to ram the doctor, or the door, or even both.

Thankfully, the man came to his senses and let Mum –and only Mum- in.

'How are you feeling?' She said, tears glistening in her eyes as the knelt by my side. 'I'm only allowed in here for five minutes, you've got to get your rest. You're in intensive care, you know.'

'What happened?'

'We managed to get you up.' Her voice was soft. 'I'm so sorry Charlotte, this is all my fault, it should never have happened.'

'Don't blame yourself; it was my decision to leave.' I said stubbornly. 'Now, what's wrong with me?'

'You've been operated on twice over the last couple of days.' Mum said. 'Nice racoon eyes you've got, too.' Her face twitched, and I wondered what she was keeping from me.

'Mum, what is it?'

'Your leg.' She said quietly. 'You lost so much blood, Charlotte. You were lucky to have the strength to hold on for so long.'

'And?'

'And…' she hesitated. 'They managed to sew you up pretty good. It was touch and go there for a while. Then yesterday you got an infection. It wasn't anyone's fault…' she stalled for time. I looked at her in disbelief.

'You don't mean…'

'Charlotte…' Mum took a deep breath. 'Charlotte, they had to amputate.' She looked at me anxiously.

'How am I going to ride?' I said dumbly, feeling my eyes well up. 'How am I going to work, Mum?' She just shook her head at me, not knowing what to say. She held my hand as I sat there, shocked. I couldn't comprehend…how…why?

I was aware of the doctor tapping on the window, and Mum giving him the dirty look.

'I'm so sorry, Charlotte. I'm really sorry.' She kept saying. I closed my eyes as they hauled her out. Then the tears began to fall, and the pain, oh god, the pain was something else.

I shook, I twisted, I yelled. Screamed my lungs out even. I had the biggest tantrum in my teenage career, but it didn't help. How could it, really? What could possibly help? Eventually I crumpled back onto my pillow, trembling. My teeth chattered and I guessed I was still in shock.

I pulled the covers over me best I could, but there was still a draft coming from the end of the bed, where my half leg was elevated. I looked at it, willed it to come back. I stared at it with utter hatred. Hatred for myself and for my stupidity. Hatred for the doctors who'd done this to me. Hatred for everyone.

And then I cried. I sobbed and blubbered, making a nice mess of the pillows and causing my face to swell up even more than it already was.

One of my nurses came in halfway through this little display, but didn't say a word. She held up a needle, which I stared at in fear. I've always been petrified of needles.

'It'll make the pain go away, and you'll be able to rest.' She promised. Miserably I tried not to yelp as she jabbed me with it.

And so, my life had taken a turn for the worse. Again. However, as Meg always used to joke, what goes down must come up.


	12. Magistrates, money and the prosthesis

Part Twelve: Magistrates, money and the prosthesis

'Charlotte!' Natalie bounded through the door and threw herself at me. I grunted as she landed pretty much on top of me, but really I didn't mind. It was nice to have something happy in this sorry excuse for a room.

'My gosh Charlie, how are you feeling?' Her big blue eyes were wide. I smiled. Natalie always came across so much younger than she was. I felt as if she were my age.

'Not too bad.' I said, groaning as I used the pulley to hoist myself up. I looked at my stump of a leg. 'Been better, I suppose.'

Natalie nodded. 'Yeah. So, fill me in. What's the latest?'

'Well, I have to wait until it's fully healed up before they can think about putting some sort of false leg on. That could take a while, they said. But then after that, I don't know. A prosthesis leg would be best, but it would be really expensive.' I sighed. Mum and Alex were doing everything they could, but with the large hospital bills and the time they'd had to take off work, our financial situation wasn't looking good.

I felt so guilty, putting them through this. Since I'd been here, I hadn't once seen them smile at each other, or even speak properly. I know Mum blamed herself and Alex for my accident, and it was obviously driving them apart.

'Charlotte.' Peter gave a soft knock at the door. 'How are you, sweetie?'

'I'm okay.' I flashed him a grin. Peter had come to visit often, almost as much as Mum. I guessed it was easier, seeing he lived around the corner.

'Don't worry, I'm doing everything I can to get you out of here.' He promised.

'Sorry?' I was confused. I wasn't going to be able to leave the hospital for a while yet.

'The magistrate. I'm getting him to review the custody case, so you can come home.'

'What?!' Now I was downright shocked.

'Between you and me, it shouldn't take long. The magistrate never really liked your mother, but under the circumstances there wasn't much he could do. This time will be different.'

'Peter…' I started, wanting to set him straight.

'What's wrong, Charlotte?' Natalie said. 'Don't you want to come home?' She looked a little hurt.

'It's not that, I love visiting you guys. But I don't know if I want to-'

'And I've had a talk to your doctor, Charlie.' Peter continued, interrupting me. 'He says in a few days we can start physiotherapy and later think about putting a prosthesis leg on. Then your physio will start teaching you to walk again.'

'It sounds pretty expensive.' I bit my lip, thinking of Mum.

'Rubbish, you can't put a price on freedom. I'll take care of it.' Peter nodded.

Gee wiz, now I had a dilemma on my hands. It was one thing to pay half the hospital bills and let me visit on weekends, but it was another thing entirely to buy me a new leg and force me out of home. Obviously I was going to have to handle this very carefully.

'It's very kind of you, Peter. But I don't think I can accept it.' I said, feeling brave. I wasn't really sure what to say.

'You're too much like that mother of yours. Neither of you can take a helping hand. Would you honestly rather be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your life? Please, Charlotte, be reasonable. It could change your life entirely. Without it I can't see you running around Drover's or taking care of that horse of yours.'

Blackmail. It was emotional blackmail, I was sure of it. When he put it that way, I could see the sense in it.

'And it would be easier on you living closer to everything, in the suburbs.' He said gently. 'You'd be within reach of school and the doctors, and our house is much more appropriately structured for you than Drover's Run is. Think about it.'

With a sinking feeling I realised the magistrate would see it that way as well. I was going to have to work really, really hard if I wanted to stay at Drover's, I was sure of that.

Peter left me to think and went to get a sandwich from the shop across the road. While he was gone, Mum came in with Alex.

'Hello sweetheart. Hi, Natalie.' Mum gave my sister a smile. Alex tipped his hat in greeting, and rested awkwardly on the doorframe. Natalie said hello, and excused herself.

'Mum.' I blurted out, not really knowing where to start. Instead I pulled her down to me, wrapping my arms around her and giving her the biggest hug. She looked a little surprised but of course she hugged me back, giving me a tight squeeze. Tears filled my eyes.

'What's gotten you this worked up?' She said softly, wiping my eyes with her thumb. 'Come on now, tell me.'

'It's just…' I looked out the window, seeing Natalie and Peter crossing the street. 'It's my dad.'

Alex jerked in the doorway; it was the first time he'd made any movement at all. 'What did he do?' He demanded. 'Charlotte, did he hurt you?'

I blinked. 'No. No, Alex, what are you talking about? Peter's never done anything to hurt me.' Not yet anyway, I thought.

'Then what?' Mum asked, her eyes questioning.

'He wants me to live with him. He's going to the magistrate tomorrow.'


	13. Walk before you run

Part Thirteen – Walk before you run

A light sweat broke out on my forehead. My muscles tensed, inwardly I was screaming with agony. It hurt, oh, it hurt so bad. But I had to do it. If I let on, there was no way I'd be allowed to ride again and that would be worse than the pain.

My arms trembled as they struggled to support my body weight. I gripped the railing tight, so tight my knuckles went a light white colour. Mum bit her lip as she watched me from the other side of the room, and Alex had to restrain her from jumping up and helping me.

I was in therapy. Good old therapy. The doctors were giving me a trial with a prosthesis leg; I didn't actually own it, but there was a possibility I could if I could manage okay with it. Of course it would have to be fitted properly, and more importantly paid for, but such formalities could wait for now.

It kind of reminded me of a ballet room. Bars along the sides, except in this case it was kind of like a treadmill without the spinning floor. I took a quick look at my therapist, who was frowning.

'Stuff you.' I said under my breath, and pushed on. I was going to walk to the end of this passage if it killed me. That's a girl, Charlotte. I thought to myself. One foot in front of the other now, you can do it. I egged myself on, since no-one else would. It became a pattern. Good leg down, swing the other leg forward, shift your weight, break and breathe.

'That's it, Charlie.' Mum said quietly. She'd been told by the therapist to keep quiet, after a somewhat rowdy display last session. She nearly got kicked out. It was rather amusing actually, you've gotta love watching my Mum try to prove a point. We always joke that she should have been captain of the Debating Club at school.

Nearly there. I thought to myself. One more step, come on, that's it now, leg forward…I grunted, and swung my bad leg forward. But I misjudged the distance and was left flailing for the rail. My weight was already too far forward to catch myself, and I felt myself plummeting to the ground.

I crashed nicely on my shoulder, and yelped. Mum rushed over, but the physio held her back. I looked up at her from my place on the floor, tears in my eyes.

'This is hopeless.' I said bitterly.

'Come on, Charls, you're a big, strong girl. Up and at 'em.' Alex encouraged. I glared at him.

'Go AWAY.' I hissed at him. 'Leave me alone.' I turned my back towards all of them. I felt Mum's hand on my shoulder, but I brushed her off angrily.

I could hear them whispering in the corner, obviously about me, and it wasn't long before Mum hauled me up to take me back to my room. She left me there and went out to talk to the doctor. Marion came in to talk to me.

'Hey Charlotte.' She said slowly. 'How are you?'

'Oh yeah, bloody brilliant. Absolutely fine.' I said sarcastically. 'And yourself? I suppose you're having a grand time at home riding MY horse. You know, if you hadn't been riding her in the first place maybe I wouldn't have run away and this wouldn't have happened!' I spat out.

Marion's face was a picture of shock and hurt. Quickly she withdrew her hand from my arm and looked at the floor, and I realised I'd gone too far.

'Hey Marion, I didn't mean it.' I tried to make her feel better, but the damage was done.

Big tears filled up in her eyes, and abruptly she stood up and hurried out the door. I could hear her crying to Mum seconds later. Irritably I rolled my eyes. I _She thinks she had problems. _/I 

I heard Mum trying to comfort her, and at the same time trying to find out what was wrong. She sent Marion over to Alex, and took a deep breath. I could see her from the window and knew what was coming. I cringed as she came into my room and closed the door firmly.

'Right.' She started, hands on her hips. 'Do you want to tell me what's going on, please?'

I shrugged, pretending I didn't know what she was talking about.

'Okay, then, fair enough. I'll tell you.' She looked at me, and I could tell she was furious.

'Charlotte Prudence McLeod, your attitude stinks. How the hell do you expect to get out of here with all this negativity? Okay, so sure, you've had a huge shock and a huge change to come to terms with. But honey, if you think abusing everyone else is going to help, you've got a rude shock on the way. We are your family, Charlotte, we are doing everything we can to help you. And how do you pay us back? By upsetting Marion, who is already feeling guilty as hell, and shouting at your father and I?'

'He isn't my father.' I said sullenly, realising as I said it I probably couldn't have said anything worse. I ducked my head, expecting a blow.

'I hope I didn't just hear you say what I thought you said.' Mum looked at me in disbelief. Her face went slightly white and I could see her knuckles trembling. She pulled away from me, stared at me for a second, and then got up and left without another word. I could hear her work boots slapping against the hospital floor as she collected Alex and Marion, and all three of them left the building.

They didn't even come back after lunch. I knew Mum was really, really mad with me, and Marion probably didn't want to talk to me ever again. Alex, well, Alex didn't usually hold grudges, but Mum…I was starting to get scared I'd said something really terrible. The look on her face…she looked so hurt. I didn't mean to hurt her. You know how it is, you say or do something in the heat of the moment, and you wish you could take it back…but you can't. Once it's done, it's done.

A bit like crashing your bike, really.


	14. Those who count

Part Fourteen – Those who count

'So, tomorrow's the big day, huh?' Jodi said awkwardly, trying to break the silence. As usual she had unintentionally just brought up the one thing I did NOT want to talk about. The magistrate review.

'Guess so.' I answered, sighing.

'Are you going to have to talk?'

'Yep.'

'Do you know what you're going to say?'

'Nope.'

Conversation over.

It was strange, we had run out of things to talk about. Usually Jodi and I can go on for hours, talking about absolutely everything. She seemed to be keeping her guard up; obviously Mum had talked to her.

Mum had visited once. We'd had a long talk, and a bit of a cry. Well, on my part, anyway. Mum rarely cries. In fact, the last time I remember her crying (before the accident, that is), was when Alex left Drover's after the divorce, and even then it wasn't a big sob fest, just a few tears in her eyes. Made of metal, my mum and Alex.

Speaking of the devil, Alex and I just aren't the same. We used to be almost inseparable, before Marion came along and we had to share him. But even after that we'd always been able to chat and he's so great at sorting out problems. Now, though…I don't know, I still couldn't bring myself to forgive him for the comment in the lounge room that day.

That day. Sounds like that song. That day, that day. Okay, that's really lame, Charlotte. Gosh, can you tell how bored I am?

'Hey Jodi.' I said suddenly, remembering she was there. She looked up at me keenly; it was the first time I'd made conversation since she arrived.

'What do you think of Alex?' I watched her. Her reaction was one of surprise.

'Alex?' she said slowly. 'Well, he's, you know…Alex.' She shrugged.

'Yeah, but what do you THINK of him?'

'Well, he's a nice guy. And I suppose he's funny, as well – most of the time. Look Charlotte, where is this going?'

'I don't know.' I said unhappily. 'I used to think that too. I used to love him so much! But now it's like…he's got Mum, and Mum's got him, and they've got Marion, and they don't need me anymore. Especially not this version of me.' I nodded at my leg.

'Is that really what you think?' Jodi said, her tone changing. She moved closer to me, and looked me straight in the eyes.

'Charlotte, _Alex loves you._' She stressed the last part. 'And so does your Mum! Do you have any idea how lucky you are? It doesn't matter if you're not Alex's biological child! Have you seen the way he looks at you? His eyes just light up when he sees you, and all the while you were growing up you were _always_ Alex's little girl.'

'But then why did he…why did he say those things about me?' I continued, my eyes brimming with tears. I had told Jodi of how Alex hadn't seemed to care for me that night, and how that had been part of my decision to run away.

'He's a bloke!' She threw up her hands. 'Charlotte, they're all like that, even Alex. You say you're fine, he believes it, no questions asked. You could be standing there bawling your eyes out, but he'd still take your word for it.'

'He was just to busy with Mum to realise.' I muttered. 'They're always too busy to notice.'

'Come on, Charlotte, give them a break. They've been divorced for what, six years? And you're complaining because the second day after they got back together they didn't want to get out of bed?'

I was beginning to feel very, very small. Jodi was squashing my theories hard and square. She had a reason for everything I put forward, and I was starting to realise maybe I was the one in the wrong.

'But, well…' I trailed off. 'I've been really stupid, haven't I?' I looked at her for the first time. She hesitated, but gave a little nod.

'Maybe just a bit. A teeny bit. By no means was it your fault; I just think you've had a bit of a communication error happening. And that's the other thing – just because you can't do everything you used to, doesn't mean we don't love you every bit as much. But I do want to see the old Charlotte. The positive Charlotte, you know, the happy one?'

I gave a small smile.

'Come on Charls, I thought I taught you better than that!' Jodi rolled her eyes. My teeny smile broke into a fully fledged grin, and she laughed and gave me a hug.

'That's better.'

We chatted for a while longer, both feeling a little more lighthearted, until Alex knocked at the door.

'Ladies.' He tipped his had and leant against the door frame. I pulled away from Jodi uncertainly. She gave me an encouraging look.

'We were just talking about you.' She said amicably to Alex. 'Oof! Ah – sorry.' She apologized as I elbowed her in the ribs. 'Right. My bad. I might just go and get some lunch, shall I? Leave you two to talk.' She left quickly.

There was an awkward silence, until we both started talking at the same time.

'Look, Charlotte.'

'Alex, I just want to-'

We broke off sheepishly, and I nodded at him to keep talking.

'Look, I know I've really buggered it up this time, haven't I? And I'm really sorry Charlotte, you have no idea how bad I feel. It's killing me seeing you like this, I feel like it's completely my fault. But I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I'm here for you if you want me. Do you think we can be friends again? I'll understand if you say no.' He ducked his head, but he glanced in my direction for a second, waiting.

'Alex, you don't have to apologize. It's not your fault. You didn't tell me to run away, did you? No. That was me, not you. So don't worry about it.' I looked at him, meaning it.

'And I just wanted to say sorry…for being such a pain. You didn't deserve it.' I finished. I clambered over to him best I could and crawled into his lap, just like I had done when I was a little girl. He smiled at me.

'I'm glad we're sorted out then. I've missed talking to you, Kiddo.' He gave me a bear hug.

'This is really good, Alex, I finally feel like I'm starting to get back on track.' I said, talking to him openly. We'd both had enough of the mushy stuff and it seemed we were back to being mates. Which I was quite glad about, to be honest.

'Yeah.' He said. 'Yeah, nearly.'

'Nearly?' I frowned. 'What do you mea- oh.' I said dully, remembering the magistrate's review. 'Right. Forgot about that.'

'We'll get through it.' He promised, patting my arm. 'Don't you worry, I'll take care of him.'

That was the part I was afraid of.


	15. What's in a name, Mrs Ryan?

Part Fifteen: What's in a name, Mrs Ryan?

So much happened in the next few days it's hard to know where to begin. I guess I'll start from when we arrived at the magistrate's lot, fifteen minutes early and in full force. Meg, Jodi, Tess…my sister, and of course Alex and Mum.

It was a little awkward, waiting outside opposite Peter and his family. Natalie tried to coax me over to say hello, but Aunty Tess was gripping my arm so tight I couldn't move an inch.

When we finally went in, two things happened. The first was that I realised what little power a magistrate actually has. To put it in English (something lawyers don't often do), this particular magistrate could only do something if misconduct had occurred, ie abuse. Obviously Peter was going to have a tricky time proving that one. So, where did that leave us?

Before we got time to talk about that, though, the second thing happened. To be honest I could see it coming, I can't believe Mum let Alex sit on the side closest to Peter. And Peter on the side closest to Alex. Julia and I looked desperately at each other, knowing what would happen, as the two of them started shouting at each other.

Next thing we know Alex has gotten up and climbed over the barrier, and was now so close to Peter that he'd stepped on Julia's toes. Peter jumped up and started pushing Alex back over the barrier, and Mum hauled him back over to our side. She was gritting her teeth furiously, and she looked like she wanted to kill Alex.

The magistrate, surprised, called out 'Hey!' and then caught himself. 'Order!' he commanded. Both of them looked up, sheepish.

'Thankyou for that fine display of…erratic, behavior, Mr Johnson and Mr Ryan. I can see we aren't going to get anywhere today. Mr Johnson, I presume you are not willing to drop your case?' He looked down at Peter, who shook his head firmly. I sighed.

'Then I am going to set you a date in a proper court. I believe they aren't busy at all at the moment, I should be able to slot you in within the week. If both parties would contact their lawyers I would be much obliged. Court adjourned.' With a bang of the gravel, he walked out. Mum snorted loudly.

'Bloody waste of time that was.' She said, catching Peter's eye and staring him down.

'I could call Bryce. He specialises in child custody cases, I bet he could win it for us easy.' Alex offered. Mum considered this for a minute.

'Yes please, thankyou Alex.' She said finally.

_ I Yes please thankyou ALEX? /I _

I looked at her, bewildered. I'd never heard her say so many polite words in one sentence, let alone to ALEX of all people. Things at home were obviously falling apart without me around to supervise.

'We'll win this, Claire. Don't you worry.' He said softly. He looked at her for a moment, and then at me. With a little flick of his head he motioned me over to Aunty Tess. He wanted to talk to Mum.

On my crutches now, I hobbled over to Tess. She didn't have Bianca with her, but I've been told she's doing beautifully. Crawling, even! I'm missing my first cousin learn how to crawl!

A court official came back into the room. 'Mr Johnson, Mrs Ryan?'

'McLeod.' Mum corrected under her breath, softly. Alex twitched. No-one noticed but me, and I felt for him. I _Ouch._ /I That would have hurt. I knew Mum had never been up with all the legal stuff, but did she never think in six years of divorce to change her name? Geez that would have been the first thing I would have done.

The guy heard her, and looked up. 'Mrs Ryan,' he said slowly, consulting his paper, 'that's what it says. Are you or are you not Mrs Alexander Ryan?' Ahhhh! Way to rub it in! Shut UP! God, I wanted to whack in over the head with my crutch. Hard.

Mum froze. A slow blush was creeping up her neck, and she was definitely aware of it. 'Uh, yes,' she said, ducking her head, 'yes, I am.' I frowned. Something wasn't right. For the time being I allowed myself to ignore it, but once we were outside, I'd start the nagging process.

'Right then. You will both be present in court next Tuesday.' He said. 'If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed to you.'

Mum scoffed. 'What do you think we are?' she muttered.

'It's standard procedure, Mrs Ryan. Please keep quiet while I read this.' He looked at her. Mum rolled her eyes, mimicking him to herself. I elbowed her. She mouthed an irritable 'sorry'. Obviously the whole Mrs Ryan thing was really getting to her.

After a bit more legal stuff, we headed out. I was still at the hospital, so for me it was a painful shuffle across the road. I didn't really need to be at the hospital full time anymore, my leg was at the stage where visiting every couple of days would be enough, but with all the fighting over where I was living Mum and Peter had come to the conclusion I should stay in the Hospice for the time being. Yeah, thanks guys.

I turned to Mum. 'What was all that business with the Mrs Ryan name in there?' I asked here. Alex looked up, obviously wondering the same thing.

'Leave it.' She hissed, pulling me across the street.

'No.' I said stubbornly, stopping. 'Am I Charlotte McLeod or Charlotte Ryan?'

'Or Johnson, even.' She mumbled.

'What?' I exclaimed.

'No, you're a McLeod.' She assured me. 'I got to the birth certificate before he did.' Her tone was a little smug, triumphant even, as though it had been a great race.

'What about Marion?' I said suddenly. Mum hesitated.

'Well, I _technically_ /I , I suppose…' Mum chewed on her bottom lip. 'Technically she's Marion Ryan, isn't she?'

'Is she?'

'But I think that's only because Marion McLeod is a bit of a mouthful.' Mum tried to justify herself, but I saw through it.

'No it isn't.' I argued. 'What's going on here?'

'Yeah,' Alex chimed in, 'what is going on here?'

Mum shot me a 'thanks, Charlotte' look. 'There is nothing going on here.' She insisted. 'You are Charlotte McLeod, and that's all there is to it.'

Interesting. Very interesting. I particularly liked the way she didn't mention herself in that last sentence.


	16. The McLeod Saga continues

Part Sixteen: The McLeod Saga continues

'All rise.'

We obliged. I looked around the small courtroom in Fisher. There was a large crowd gathered in the seats, some of them were familiar, some weren't. My mother was the only one next to me, the rest of the family were outside because they were all possible witnesses. On Mum's other side was Marion's grandfather, Bryce Redstaff.

He was okay. I've met him a couple of times. I owe him a lot I guess, he was the reason Mum and Alex got together the first time. They were in Melbourne, and Alex was upset after meeting his father, the "root rat" (that always makes me giggle), so he turned to Mum for comfort. In a big way.

After Bryce gave his opening, Peter's lawyer did. It was basically just a summary for the jury, not very interesting.

The first person on the stand, surprisingly, was Natalie. We had a heap of people to get through; I guess they wanted her out of the way.

'So, Natalie. How often did Charlotte visit?'

'Every second weekend, usually.'

'Did she seem happy on these occasions? As if she were being treated well?'

Bryce called out 'Objection'. We stared at him. 'He's leading, Your Honour.'

'Rephrase.' The judge called out. Wow, they certainly got straight into all this objection business, didn't they? No mucking around!

Peter's lawyer, Dominic, rephrased his question.

'How did Charlotte act on these occasions?' Why don't you just ask me? I thought inwardly. Huh. Now that'd save a lot of time.

'She was happy, usually. After her mother split up with Alex, she was a little down, but not any more so than the average kid would be.'

'Anything else?'

Natalie thought about it. She squirmed. 'Well, a month ago she came to us in the middle of the night. She was really upset then.'

'She came on her own?' Dominic said, surprised. As if you don't know! I thought angrily.

'Yes. She said she'd caught the bus.'

'And why was she in town?'

Again, Natalie took a moment to contemplate this.

'She said she needed some time to think.' Natalie hesitated. 'Later on she told me it was because her parents were ignoring her and she felt left out.'

I cringed, and didn't look up. Gee, thanks, Nat. You didn't HAVE to tell them that. Mum looked at me, a little hurt. She'd been left out of the loop on that one. I hadn't the heart to tell her.

'What were her plans in town?'

'She said something about staying at the pub.'

'By herself?'

'Yes.'

'In your opinion, Miss Natalie, would a responsible parent allow a child of fourteen to spend the night alone in a bar, with no supervision whatsoever?'

'No,' Natalie said softly, giving me a painful glance. Then her eyes settled on Mum. 'No.' She said more firmly. 'No, they wouldn't.'

Dominic smiled. 'No further questions, Your Honour.'

I took a second to think about this. Natalie was supposed to be on my side! She had given Mum a bit of a greasy, though. Natalie is pretty good, as far as the whole acceptance business goes, but she'd always had a hard time warming up to Mum, even though it was hardly Mum's fault.

'I call the next witness,' the official looked at his paper, 'Alexander Ryan, to the stand.' Alex was escorted in, and he looked at the judge warily. I had to laugh. Alex towered over his two escorts, and paddled into the courtroom wearing his hat, which Mum quickly motioned for him to take off. She gave him a Look, one that said 'behave yourself'.

'Alexander Ryan.' Bryce stood up. I relaxed a little, we'd practiced this bit before court.

'What was your relationship with the child?'

'I was her stepfather, and her uncle.'

'And during this time, I imagine you got close with her?'

'Very close.' Alex agreed. 'We were great mates weren't we, Charlotte.' He looked at me, as did the courtroom. I gave a nod.

'And what was your relationship with the child's father?'

'Peter?' Alex laughed, and smirked in Peter's direction. 'Well, I didn't mind him before I found out about the affair. He was cheating on his wife and kids. He didn't even tell Claire about them.' Peter's face changed from something calm to the expression of a person trying to restrain himself.

'When was the child's mother informed?'

Alex looked at Claire, then at his feet. 'She wasn't. My fath- my stepfather,' Alex corrected himself, 'found it out when he did a background check. For business purposes.'

'Objection!' Dominic called. 'Your Honour, how is this relevant?'

'I'm getting there, Your Honour.' Bryce promised.

'Overruled, but do make it brief, Mr Redstaff.' The judge said, bored. He looked like he'd rather be somewhere else. I prayed he'd stay awake long enough to hear my side of it. After all, this was my life we were talking about.

'So,' Bryce summarised, 'Mr Johnson neglected to admit about his wife and children until I _after_ /I it was found out by your stepfather?'

'That's right.' Alex said, satisfied.

'Then what happened?'

'Claire stopped seeing Peter,' Alex continued, looking at Mum proudly, 'and Peter begged her to come back. Visits, letters, phone calls…he wouldn't give up. He said he was willing to leave his kids for her.'

Bryce looked over at Dominic. 'In your opinion, Alex, could you see this happening again?'

'It's possible.' Alex agreed. 'He didn't have any concern for his kids first time round, so why this time?'

Bryce smiled. 'Thankyou, Alex. Your witness, Dominic.'

Dominic got up, eyes blazing. 'Mr Ryan.' He said sweetly. 'Thankyou for being here with us today.' Alex nodded.

'Mr Ryan, could you tell us what happened at the Gungellan Show, fourteen years ago?'

Uh oh. I knew where he was taking this. He was going to talk about Alex attacking Peter. But, I also realised, he'd given Alex a hole. If only Alex realised, he could slip it in…I watched his face. Suddenly he grinned, and I leant back in my chair, happy. He knew.

'Yes.' He said triumphantly. 'Peter tried to blackmail Claire into marrying him.' Before Dominic could cut him off, he kept talking. 'He had never handed in Claire's resignation letter, you see, and he had the power to repossess Drover's Run. Claire would do anything for her home.' He smiled at Mum. Dominic realised his mistake and hastily tried to redirect.

'You misunderstood me.' He said, forcing a smile. 'I was referring to your act of violence. Please elaborate, I believe it was not the first time.'

'It was mutual.' Alex said simply.

'Yes, but how many times in total have you attacked my client?'

'Attacked is a strong word. A punch-up, more like it.' Alex tried to get out of it, but he was cornered.

'Answer the question please, Mr. Ryan.' Dominic smirked.

'Three.' Alex said quietly. Dominic, having proven his point, turned to the judge.

'Your Honour, it appears the witness has violent tendencies. Is this a safe habitat for a growing child? I think not.'

'I would never hurt Charlotte!' Alex cried out. 'You take that back!' He stood up, glaring angrily at Peter's lawyer.

'No further questions, Your Honour.' Dominic sat down.

At recess, I sat next to Bryce. I wasn't supposed to see the rest of the family, only those who had spoken, which left only Alex to talk to. And he had stormed off after the court was adjourned. Mum had grudgingly gone after him, not wanting to, but realising she was the only one who would be able to calm him down.

I didn't mind. There was something I wanted to talk to Bryce about, anyway.

'Bryce,' I started slowly. 'I have a question for you. A legal question.' I added importantly.

He smiled at me. 'Go on,' he encouraged, 'what is it?'

'Well…when people get divorced, do their names get changed automatically?' I was still stuck on the Mrs Ryan thing from the other day.

Bryce smiled again. 'Is that what this is about. No, you usually have to apply for a name change.'

'And did she?' I said curiously. 'Did Mum ever do that?'

'What makes you so sure I would know?' He said.

'You're a lawyer. Lawyers know everything.' I said confidently, nodding at him. He laughed.

'Is that so. Well, Charlotte, unfortunately as your mother's lawyer that's a matter of confidence. That means I'm not authorised to tell you what your Mum did or didn't do, do you understand?'

I looked at him, glumly, and got ready to hobble away. Then he continued.

'But, I will say this.' He looked at me carefully. 'Had your mother applied for a name change, and I'm not saying she did or didn't…' he hesitated a moment.

'She wouldn't have been eligible for a name change – at least not one due to divorce.' He let it sink in. Then he dropped the bombshell.

'You have to have actually I _had_ /I a divorce for that to work.'

I stood alone as he walked away, gob smacked for words.


	17. Husband and Wife

Part Seventeen: Husband and Wife

I was in shock. Bryce's words echoed in my ears. I _You have to have actually /I _had_ I a divorce for that to work. /I _ I couldn't believe it. I was absolutely speechless.

She hadn't gone through with it. Mum had never had the divorce. That meant she and Alex were still married! Oh my god. OH MY GOD! Did Tess know about this? Why wasn't I informed? My head began to feel dizzy, with all these ideas swarming around inside.

I whirled around. Where were they? I had to find my Mum. Hazily I tried to remember when I'd last saw her. She'd been following Alex, trying to calm him down, but where had they gone…I remembered seeing them cross the road, yes…but where…

I scanned the sidewalk with my eyes, and stopped when I saw Mum and Alex standing beside the Post Office. There! I looked at my watch, and swore. There were only about five minutes of recess left. It would take me at least two minutes to get across the road on my crutches (perhaps less, cars tend to be sympathetic to the crutches and usually stop in due time), so that left three minutes in which to argue over six years of family history and thirty odd seconds in which to calm both parents down to appear reputable in court.

Could I manage it? Even for me, it was a tall order. Well, I was damn well going to try. Swinging my leg forward, I set off.

They saw me coming. Darn it, I wanted to sneak up on them. See exactly what they were talking about. Oh, well. I took a deep breath. I exhaled. I took another breath.

I was stalling.

I couldn't believe it! I'd lost my nerve! I was furious with myself, and was contemplating the best way to bring it up when Mum came over. I cursed inwardly.

'Charlotte?' She looked surprised. 'What is it, sweetheart? Is something wrong?' Ugh! That did it. The innocent look! It was blinding!

'Y-you…you're…' I spluttered. She looked at me strangely.

'Spit it out, Charlotte.' Alex said impatiently. 'We've got to go back in.'

'You're MARRIED!' I accused, pointing the finger best I could without toppling over.

Mum looked at me uneasily. 'Charlotte, what are you talking about?' She darted a glance at Alex, seemingly nervous. Then it struck me; he didn't know! I nearly laughed out loud. I had assumed she and Alex were in on it together, after all, who gets a fake divorce without knowing?

I took a moment to look at Alex. His face was priceless, it really was. He looked from Mum to me, and back again. His jaw hung open slightly in bewilderment. I guess that meant he believed me. Then he spoke.

'To who?' Alex narrowed his eyes, and his voice sounded strangely strangled. I covered my eyes, and I couldn't help it: I laughed. This whole thing was just so funny. Only Alex, dear old Alex, would ask 'who?' at the crucial moment.

Mum was approaching this very carefully indeed. 'Maybe we should sit down.' She suggested, pointing to the park bench.

'Sit down? Have a cuppa? Watch the grass grow? Come on, Claire, what's going on?' Alex said, his temper starting to get the better of him. I hoped Mum would be quick, Alex was about to blow.

'We're still married.' She whispered, and put her face in her hands. 'I'm sorry.'

'We…?' Alex repeated slowly. 'As in, you and me?'

'No, Alex, me and Charlotte, who do you think?' Mum snapped.

I watched this heated exchange with interest.

'We,' he motioned to himself and Mum, trying to take it in, 'are still married.' Mum gave a miserable nod.

'Claire! Bloody hell!' he swore. And then it happened. He erupted. 'Six whole years! Six bloody years and you didn't tell me! I see you nearly every single day and not once did you care to tell me we're married. I can't believe this.' Alex was visibly distraught.

'How did you do this?' He said, suddenly interested in the finer details. 'And why?'

Mum ignored the second question, but of course that was the only one we REALLY wanted the answer to.

'It was easy, really.' She shrugged. 'I just…never handed in the divorce papers. You never asked. Nobody ever asked.' Now, there's a very fine line when you're questioning my mother. If you cross it she starts to get really defiant and then shuts up real quick. I willed Alex to be careful. If he crossed The Line, and I suspected he would, we'd never get anything out of her.

'You lied to me.' Alex said, clearly hurt. I think that hurt him more than the marriage thing did. In fact, I thought he would have been rather pleased with the whole situation, had Mum not hid it from him for half a decade.

'Well,' she held up a finger, 'technically, no I didn't. You just assumed I handed the papers in.'

'Oh for crying out loud, stop with your technicality bull woman!' Alex thundered. For a second I was scared. Alex could certainly get angry at times, violent even, but never –never- at Mum. Ever.

'Claire, I can deal with you being annoying. I can deal with you being stubborn. But I can not, NOT deal with you being a liar.' Alex said firmly. He was still in shock. 'The Claire I know would never lie. You were always honest, Claire, you always insisted on telling the truth. What the hell happened?'

Mum stuttered, not knowing what to say. And that was it. She'd clammed up. No more information today.

'Oh god.' Alex moaned. 'That means I've cheated on you. I've cheated on my own wife and I didn't even know it.' I looked at him strangely. He was working his was through his issues at a rapid pace. It was hard to keep up. Mum moved closer to console him.

'No, no, you didn't.' She said soothingly, patting him on the shoulder. 'It's not your fault.'

'That's right, it's not.' He glared at her. She hastily backed off, realising she'd miscalculated and he was still in the angry stage, and had not yet moved into the forgiveness sector of performance.

'Why? Alex said finally, looking her in the eyes for the first time. Mum looked down, and toyed with her sleeve. And then, something very peculiar happened. Mum un-clammed. It's the first time I've ever seen her make a comeback like that, usually once you lose her that's it, you've gotta let her sleep on it before she'll talk to you.

'I thought it would blow over.' She admitted. 'I thought you'd come back to me, and when you didn't…I didn't WANT to believe it was over, Alex.' She squirmed uncomfortably, not looking at us.

Alex's face softened a smidgen. But only for a second before a dark look crossed his face again. 'S, Claire.' He said, letting out a long breath. 'What the hell do we do now?'

And then, with the impeccable timing all government people seem to have, our judge called us all back in for the afternoon session, leaving a beautiful mess for us to sort out in the evening.


End file.
